


blood and fire

by congratsyouvegrownasoul



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Canon Disabled Character, DisabilityFest 2017, Gen, Light Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 17:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11628273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/congratsyouvegrownasoul/pseuds/congratsyouvegrownasoul
Summary: When he’s first banished, Zuko can’t stand to firebend.





	blood and fire

When he’s first banished, Zuko can’t stand to firebend. He tries, early on, the flames trickling out of his fingers sluggishly, as if mocking him. The sight makes everything come rushing back, and once again he’s kneeling before his father in the palace courtyard, feeling his tears evaporate in the heat and his skin burn. Zuko clenches his fists to stop the fire and topples over sideways, shaking. 

It’s all right, Iroh reassures him. He’s still healing, in more ways than one--face still bandaged, legs still unsteady. He’s not strong enough even to practice simple training exercises, as he used to every morning before he was burned. He accepts the excuse, but deep down he knows it’s not because he’s injured, but because he’s afraid. 

He feels weak, and useless, and as if he’s living up to all his father’s worst expectations. What kind of coward is afraid of something that’s as much a part of him as if it were fused to his bones? 

As soon as he’s able to walk around the ship without getting dizzy, Zuko begins again with his swords, gripping onto their leather-wrapped handles as if his life depended on it. He has to do something. 

He starts slow, but soon he’s weaving and spinning, quick and dexterous as the wind rushing past the side of the ship. He’s never been a great firebender, but this he can do. Some of the crew shoot him impressed, surprised glances, and he feels an unexpected rush of pride. Now he’s not just their fragile, wounded little prince. If they respect him, they’ll listen, they’ll obey his commands--he needs that, for this mission. But still, it isn’t enough. He won’t be able to capture the Avatar with swords. 

Zuko thinks about the Avatar all the time now, for the first time since he was a curious child listening to his mother’s bedtime stories. Sometimes, it seems like an impossible quest, or a wild lizard-goose chase. He--or she, Zuko supposes--would be over a century old now, withered and half-forgotten but unfathomably strong. Unless the Avatar is gone, of course, vanished from the world like a dream at the break of day. But Zuko can’t bear to believe that. He has to have hope. He has to go home. 

Zuko doesn’t know how he--a half-grown boy who can’t bring himself even to firebend--is supposed to defeat this figure of legend. But he has to, and so, somehow, he will. After all, his blood is the blood of conquerors, and he is a survivor. Lucky to be born, his father’s voice whispers inside his head--but he’s still here, isn’t he?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Tumblr's DisabilityFest. Read and review :)


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